Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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