Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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