People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
