it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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