Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
