Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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