i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
