Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
