11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He has the fingertips of a God
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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