Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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