i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
