I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
