i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize