My nipple is on Facebook.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
