I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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