I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
