I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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