Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
