it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
