I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize