I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
