I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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