I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize