so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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