shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My hand turned me down
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
