He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
