Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
