I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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