haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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