I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
