It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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