I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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