I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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