Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
