Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
