Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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