And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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