I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
did i walk over a car last night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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