Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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