so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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