I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
