Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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