I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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