matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Houston, we have a blender
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
