so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
