just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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