Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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