Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize