TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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