Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
