I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
