Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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