drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
