I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize