Pregnant stripper...not hot.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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