I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
