I heard we made out
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
