I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
