Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
