i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
