Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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