If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
