you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
