when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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