Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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