Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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