I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
