i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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