My first STD was from a foam party
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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