you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
