Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
