Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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