ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
