12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize