and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
