Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
